Whether it's a mutual breakup or someone getting dumped, they all suck the same and no one wants to go through them.
Unfortunately with the way that life often goes, things just happens and sometimes things just aren't meant to be.
We all know how relationships goes. Either it works or it doesn't.
For some people it ends much earlier in the relationship, like maybe within a couple of weeks or some 2-3 months of being together.
And for others it happens much later in the relationship, maybe years and years later.
Either way it can still be painful, whether you were the one who initiated it or not.
Breakups can leave you feeling unwanted, insecure, ugly depressed, stressed and just really out of this world. It's something that can take a lot of time to get over if you are not careful.
And it's very important that you treat yourself well during the post breakup period.
To my surprise one of lovely followers sent me a message a couple of days ago , asking me about how to deal with a breakup, especially a bad , messy one.
She shared with me about her relationship with her ex, and how things went downhill so fast after being together on and off for 2 years. She told me her regrets,pain and how she was having a hard time dealing with the fact that, she just practically lost her best friend and someone that she had invested so much of her time and love into.
I won't go much into gory details but just know that her breakup was not a good one.
So after replying back with reassuring words and some helpful tips to help her, I asked her if she would be okay with me using her story as the idea behind this post, and give other people the same tips that I gave her in the email.
Being that you are now reading this post, she did say yes and asked me not to mention her name, and of course I wouldn't do such a thing, so for now she will remain nameless.
*Your secret is safe with me love :)*
So to anyone who's hurting right now, or currently going through a separation with their loved ones , boy or girl this post is for you. Hopefully it works and helps you out.
Before I start however, I must point out that while I've never been involved in a bad breakup or any thing as such, I do know how it feels to lose something (Food counts right ?) or someone whom you cared and loved deeply for. (Food still counts right?)
Okay starting off with the number one thing you should do after a breakup, especially a bad one is .
1. Get Rid of Memories.
This means, get rid of any pictures you guys took together on your phone,computer your social media, and etc. No one wants to be reminded of good memories of their ex all the time, especially when you're trying to move on. Also it might be best to pack away any gift and card that he/she might have given you , at least during the first couple days after the breakup. Since you are still sore from the breakup , looking at old cards and teddy bears and gifts might not be a good idea,even if you happen to love those gifts, just wait until you are a little healed.
2. Delete His/ Her Number
You might want to erase all the texts and their number from your phone, after all you don't want to find yourself randomly texting them during a rainy,boring night. It's best to just be safe than sorry. Besides if you plan on moving on to a new relationship some time in the future, I don't think any guy or girl would be okay with you keeping old texts between you and your ex still in your phone.
3. Avoid Listening to a Favorite Song or Songs that You Guys listened to while you were together.
We all know every couple always have that one song that they used to listen to together and call it "our song". Those kind of songs that reminds you of all the good times you guys had together and whatnot's. Well It's probably not best to listen to that song again, or really any love song while going through a breakup. You know what they say ,don't add fire to the fuel. You are already hurting, why would you add to that hurt by listening to songs that constantly remind you of your ex.
3. Unfollow/Unfriend Him or Her on Social Media
This one might seem harsh, unnecessary and might depend on the nature of how your relationship ended. But regardless it might be a good idea. Let's say your ex happens to move on way too quickly within days and weeks of breaking up with you, do you really want to see them constantly posting pictures with their current boo about how happy they are and whatnot's?
I know I would not what to deal with that and hurt myself even more like that. Also it makes it easier for you not try and stalk their page every so often, to see what they are up to. Just unfriend them and you won't have to worry.
Also avoid using social media as a place to rehash your thoughts about your ex and your breakup. No one wants to see you post countless of quotes about how broken you are and how much you hate your ex. It makes you look annoying and like the pathetic one who is still not over the breakup obviously.
*Unless you want them to see you looking your best after the breakup by posting countless of cute selfies, with indirect quotes about them underneath , then be my guest. Whatever works for you.
4. Get More Active/ Exercise Take Care of Your Body
What better way to release all your anger, stress and emotions from a breakup, than to exercise? Exercising is known to relieve stress, depression and anger and it's very useful to keep you preoccupied.Going for a run, dancing,hitting the gym or doing any kind of active activity like sports, can lower your stress levels, improve cognitive functioning and boost your mood -- in addition to providing a healthy distraction from your worries. Besides keeping your body in check ,and making sure you look healthy and feel better, is one way to let your ex know that you are doing so much better without them.
If Exercising doesn't seem to work or just isn't enough.
5. Write it out in a Journal
Some things are easier off written down than said. Writing down pent up emotions, anger, and thoughts about a breakup can be a way to release yourself and leave you feeling much better. Some times after a breakup the only thing you want to do is call a close friend and cry unto their shoulders, but if you don't want to let out too much, just write down things in a journal and then afterwards rip it into small pieces that can't be put back together and throw it in the trash. You will feel so much better letting it out somehow ,than just keeping it all inside. Also there's nothing wrong with having a good cry.
According to various studies, crying can help to wash chemicals linked to stress out of our body, one of the reasons we feel much better after a good cry. So cry your hearts out, no shame in your game.
And last but not the least , one of the most helpful ways to get over a breakup is.
6. Do things That You Love/ Go out More ,Be Happy
After a bad breakup, it's hard to get excited about the things you loved pre-split or about things you love in general. But the only way to start enjoying yourself again is to force yourself to get out and do them anyway. Treat yourself to something that make you feel good, whether it's a cup of coffee with a friend or a massage. Self-care is essential to the healing process, and doing things that make you smile can help you heal more faster and make you so much more happier.
Try going to the movies to check out a new comedy or inviting your friends over to marathon-watch "Pretty Little Liars", What better way to get over an ex , than to try and find out who A and also obsess over Aria and Ezra just a little.
For guys and maybe even some girls, if Pretty Little liars isn't your thing, try and watch other shows you might be into, play some video games,or go outside and play football and soccer with your friends. Either way a good distraction with friends and loved ones is just what you need.
Laughing has been shown to boost and improve overall health, and the support of your friends will help ease feelings of loneliness and isolation.
And at the end of the day always remember that everything happens for a reason. And one door have to close in order for another one to open. Also sometimes you do have kiss many frogs, in order to find your prince and princess. Be Happy, Take your time,Enjoy yourself, And Move on. Life goes on <3
P.S !! One last important tip : AVOID Getting back together with your ex,unless it's for a good reason. And by good reason I mean, maybe the timing for your relationship last time was wrong and life got in the way and breaking up was the best thing to do at that time in order to save your friendship, then that's fine. Sometimes reconnection happens and second chances are needed. BUT if your ex happened to cheat on you intentionally countless of times, disrespected you during and after the relationships and was just a straight up nightmare, then don't waste your time trying to fix something that's broken. Sometimes the phrase once a cheater is always a cheater is true, besides it's not mandatory to give someone a second chance if they hurt you, it's not like you're married. Trust is something that has to be earned don't let idiots and unworthy people screw you over countless of times. You deserve better. No one respects a relationship that's on and off anyways, save yourself some pride please. Don't try and be the Dr. Phil in the relationship trying to fix everything, some things just don't need fixing but to be left alone.
Please Don't forget to leave comments telling me if you like this blog, and whether or not this was helpful to you. They are very much appreciated and lets me know what to write more about.
Also feel free to ask me questions or give me ideas via my email : firstname.lastname@example.org
I'd be happy to answer some questions and give out some advice and I don't bite , I promise.
Until Next Time byeeeee xoxoxoxo :)
-------Happy Sunday by the way. God bless <3